My Mom Needs to Move Into Assisted Living in Wichita — What Do We Do With Her House?

by Jennifer Timmermeyer

When a parent needs to move into assisted living, the first priority is usually obvious:

Mom or Dad.

Finding the right community. Figuring out what they can bring. Completing paperwork. Coordinating doctors. Helping them adjust to the idea of moving.

And then somewhere in the middle of all of that, someone asks:

“What are we going to do with the house?”

If your mom or dad is moving into assisted living in Wichita and you're suddenly responsible for figuring out a home they've lived in for decades, it can feel like you're dealing with two major life transitions at the same time.

Because you are.

The good news is that you don't have to figure out the entire house before your parent moves.

In many situations, I actually recommend doing the opposite.

First, Focus on Where Mom or Dad Is Going

Before we start emptying closets or deciding what furniture to sell, we need to understand the new home.

How large is it?

What furniture will fit?

What does your parent actually need?

What items will make the new space feel familiar?

If Mom is moving from a three-bedroom Wichita home into a much smaller apartment, we're obviously not taking everything.

But that doesn't mean the new space needs to feel temporary or unfamiliar.

A favorite chair.

Family photographs.

A familiar lamp.

The small table that has always sat beside the sofa.

Favorite artwork.

A few meaningful decorations.

These things can make a completely new environment feel much more like home.

That's why I prefer to think about downsizing as choosing what we're taking with us, rather than immediately focusing on everything we're getting rid of.

Does the House Need to Be Empty Before Mom Moves?

Usually, no.

And this is something I wish more families knew.

If circumstances allow, moving your parent and the belongings they need first can make the entire process much easier.

Once Mom or Dad is comfortable in the new home, we can turn our attention to the remaining house.

That may mean sorting belongings, organizing donations, determining what family members want, selling certain items, packing keepsakes and preparing the property for sale.

Trying to accomplish all of that while simultaneously moving your parent can turn an already emotional situation into complete chaos.

We don't have to do everything at once.

What Do We Do With Everything Left in the House?

This is often the part families dread the most.

Your parents may have accumulated 30, 40 or 50 years of belongings.

And those belongings aren't neatly divided into boxes labeled:

KEEP

DONATE

SELL

GIVE TO SUSAN

Wouldn't that be convenient? 😊

Instead, you open a cabinet and find Mom's wedding china.

You open another closet and find boxes of photographs.

Then there's Dad's garage.

And the basement.

And the Christmas decorations.

And suddenly you've spent three hours discussing one cabinet.

This is where having a system matters.

We can divide belongings into manageable categories:

Items moving with your parent
Items going to family
Important documents and keepsakes
Items that may be worth selling
Donations
Items that can be discarded
Things your parent simply isn't ready to decide about yet

You don't have to make every decision in one day.

Should We Have an Estate Sale?

Maybe.

But an estate sale isn't automatically the right answer for every household.

The amount and type of belongings in the home matter. So does the family's timeline.

For some families, selling certain furniture, collectibles or household items makes sense.

For others, donating items is faster and far less stressful.

Sometimes family members want specific pieces.

Sometimes nobody wants the giant china cabinet that everyone was convinced somebody would want someday!

Before automatically choosing an estate sale, donation company or clean-out service, let's look at the entire situation and determine what makes sense for your family.

Should We Fix the House Before Selling It?

This is another decision I don't want families making blindly.

When a parent has lived in a home for many years, it's common for the house to need some updating.

Maybe there's older carpet.

Maybe the paint hasn't been changed in 20 years.

Maybe the kitchen is dated.

Maybe there are maintenance items that need attention.

The temptation is to immediately start fixing everything.

Please talk to a Realtor before doing that.

Not every improvement will give you a worthwhile return when you sell.

Sometimes a deep cleaning, decluttering, fresh paint and a few small repairs are enough.

Sometimes additional work makes sense.

And sometimes selling the home in its current condition is absolutely the right decision.

The goal isn't to make your parents' home look brand new.

The goal is to determine what will help the home sell while protecting your family's time, energy and money.

Should We Sell the House Before or After Mom Moves?

There isn't one answer that works for every family.

If your parent's move is planned months in advance, we may have time to prepare the home before the move.

If the transition to assisted living happened quickly because your parent's needs changed, getting them safely settled may be much more important than preparing the house immediately.

We can work backward from your family's situation.

What does your parent need?

What is the timeline?

Are there financial considerations?

How much work does the house require?

Is family nearby to help?

Once we understand those pieces, we can create a realistic plan for the home.

What If I Live Out of State?

This is one of the hardest situations for adult children.

Mom lives in Wichita.

You live in Texas, Colorado, Florida, California — or anywhere else.

Suddenly you're trying to coordinate a move, belongings, repairs, contractors and the sale of a house from hundreds of miles away.

Having someone in Wichita who can help coordinate the pieces becomes incredibly valuable.

That's one reason my approach is different from a traditional real estate transaction.

I'm not simply interested in showing up once the house is empty and putting it on the market.

I want to help you figure out how we're going to get from where you are now to that point.

This Is Where My Two Businesses Come Together

I'm Jennifer Timmermeyer, a Wichita Realtor with Real Broker, LLC and the owner of Design with Jen.

My real estate business allows me to help families prepare, market and sell the home.

Design with Jen allows me to help with many of the pieces surrounding that transition, including:

Downsizing
Organizing and decluttering
Planning what will fit in the new home
Packing
Preparing the existing home for sale
Staging
Coordinating moving needs
Unpacking
Organizing and setting up the new home

That combination is especially helpful when a senior is moving into assisted living, independent living or a smaller home.

Instead of treating the move and the home sale as two completely separate events, we can look at the entire transition.

Don't Throw Everything Away Before You Call Me!

Seriously.

I've seen how quickly families can become overwhelmed and decide:

“Just get rid of everything.”

Before you rent the dumpster, schedule the clean-out company, replace the flooring and start hauling furniture to the curb, let's talk.

There may be things we want to handle differently.

There may be work you don't need to do.

There may be belongings your parent wants in the new home.

And there may be a much easier order in which to accomplish everything.

You don't need to have the house ready for me.

You don't even need to know where to start.

Mom Is Moving Into Assisted Living. What Should We Do First?

Start with Mom.

Make sure she has what she needs and help make her new space feel like home.

Then we'll deal with the house.

We'll look at what remains, what needs to be done, what makes sense financially and how to prepare the property for its next chapter.

One step.

Then another.

Eventually, what initially felt impossible starts becoming manageable.

Need Help With a Parent's Home in Wichita?

If your mom or dad is moving into assisted living, independent living, senior living or a smaller home in the Wichita area, you don't have to navigate the home transition by yourself.

Whether you're here in Wichita or trying to help your parent from another state, we can start with a conversation about what's happening and what needs to happen next.

Jennifer Timmermeyer
Realtor® | Real Broker, LLC
Owner | Design with Jen

Serving Wichita, Kansas and surrounding communities.

Helping families navigate the home, the move and everything in between.